Run Catch Kiss

One World Magazine

“Freak Like Me” – Volume 5, Issue 2

Dialogue with the Rapper Akinyele

Sexology: He’s a rapper, she’s a writer. Both are from new York; both have made careers (and gained notoriety) out of talking openly and explicitly about sex. We got them together for dinner to discuss – what else? – sex. What transpired were some words of wisdom, indeed.

Mutual Respect, baby!

Amy: Are you really as equal opportunity in your sex life as you are in your music?

Akinyele: Very much so.

Amy: So let’s say you’ve been going down on a girl for like 40 minutes, and she’s like, “I’m really close to coming.” And then she comes, and she’s like, “Thank you, I wanna go to sleep.”

Ak: If that’s my girl, and we’re in a relationship –

Amy: Then that’s OK some of the time.

Ak: It’s basically fine.

Amy: Do you jerk off in the bed next to her?

Ak: Like, if she’s not available to service it tome, then I will. Personally, I enjoy doing it myself every night. Like an Ovaltine before bed.

Amy: I gotta think of my equivalent for that!

Ak: Every day I meet someone, and it’s like I mind-f**k them, and it’s safe. So I imagine I’m f**king them, and then, you know, it feels cool.

Amy: But this is the thing about oral sex that bothers me.

Ak: What?

Amy: Straight guys that have never done anything with a man cannot know what it feels like to have this huge thing in your mouth. And if you, the giver of pleasure, don’t have the power in terms of regulating the angle and stuff like that, it can really hurt, and it’s not fun at all.

Ak: But that depends on who you’re sucking. Because if you don’t have that communication with them where you can just stop and say, “OK, hold up for one second,” then I guess –

Amy: You would respect that.

Ak: Basically, you have to respect it all when you’re doing sex. What turns me on is when I’m getting head and someone is simultaneously playing with my nipples. Ohh, forget it.

Amy: That’s so funny because I love the same thing.

Ak: Alright, I’ll catch you one day.

Amy: No. I love getting the same thing. We’d never make each other happy! But that’s interesting ’cause a lot of men say their nipples aren’t sensitive.
Ak: Forget it.

Amy: Yours are? Are men lying?

Ak: I don’t know. I don’t run around asking guys if their nipple’s sensitive. I just know that mine are very sensitive.

Amy: If you’re just lying in bed and you’re not hard and all, and you just go like this [mimes playing with nipples], do you get a little hard?

Ak: Do I? In my sitcom that’s like my whole thing.

Amy: Do you like big breasts?

Ak: I’m a breast fanatic.

Amy: Are you a tit man, an ass man, a pussy man, or a leg man?

[Long pause.]

Amy: Everything? What? What?

Ak: It depends on the person. However you get that nipple sensation. Like if your arm is your nipple sensation, then I’ll love the shit out of your arm.

F**k ‘Em Early

Ak: I hate to say it – it’s gonna sound harsh – but I’m gonna break it down. I love the sluts, I love the whores, the teasers. Those are all “a.k.a. let’s take it slow” sluts. It’s like, you’re having a relationship with [a girl] but she doesn’t actually want to tie into it. “Like, let’s take it slow. I don’t want to rush into it.” Those are the sluts.

Amy: You mean they’re saying it but they don’t mean it?

Ak: No. Like, imagine you have a sexual relationship with someone but you don’t want to make them your boyfriend, you know. Why? Because you want to have the freedom to go screw someone else.

Amy: Right, right.

Ak: “A.k.a. sluts,” they don’t like to say it like that. They like to say, “Hey, let’s take it slow, or I don’t know about it.”

Amy: To me, “Let’s take it slow” is like, “Oh, no no no, you can’t touch my tits.”

Ak: No. I mean like, we f**k but you don’t want to commit to me.

Amy: Okay, I understand now.

Ak: They got different meanings, but I call it “sluts.” Some people might say, “You’re my friend,” “He’s my friend.” “A.k.a., I’m his slut.”

Amy: You like girls that don’t rush you to commit?

Ak: I take it all. I like the girls that are the most comfortable with themselves. My whole motto is: If you like someone, if you’re even attracted to them, f**k ‘em early. Just for the simple fact that if the dude doesn’t come back the next day, you’re not hurt.

Amy: Yes you are, because you just gave it up the night before.

Ak: You gave a like f**k. A like fuck, not a love f**k.

Amy: What’s the difference?

Ak: When you give a love f**k, the dude just likes you and now you’re in love with this dude, and now he doesn’t come around no more. And you just screwed the shit out of him, right? Whereas if you gave him a like f**k, and it was like cool.

Amy: It means that in your mind you’re not as invested.

Ak: Yeah.

Amy: But don’t you think it’s hard to lie to yourself?

Ak: No. It’s not hard. You know what I realized with girls? Girls like have these little wires to their heart, you know.

Amy: And you know why? I just read an article on it. After intercourse, breastfeeding and childbirth, we secrete this hormone called oxytocin [which] brings out maternal feelings. That’s why after we have sex we’re like, “Ahhhh,” even if we know in our minds the guys’ stupid. I think after men have sex they want to get away. But we like you more after, and you like us less. I don’t understand that.

Ak: Nah, nah. I like them more, especially if they f**k me in the beginning. Oh, I love them.

Amy: You say that. But truthfully isn’t there a part of you that says, “She’s a whore. She gave it up too early. I don’t respect her”?

Ak: Some of my best relationships have been if we do it on the second date or the first date. Because everything is just out in the open after that.

Amy: You saw each other totally naked.

Ak: After you go to the max, you just grow from there. If you’ve been with someone for two months and you didn’t screw him, you

‘re not growing.

Amy: But how many dates is early to you?

Ak: It depends on the person.

Amy: Have you slept with girls the first night you’ve met them?

Ak: Oh, of course.

“A F**k Is a F**k”

Amy: I’ve heard this one theory that’s like when a woman cheats on a man the first question he asks is, “Did you f**k him?” When a man cheats on a woman the first question she asks is, “Did you love her?” You don’t buy any of that.

Ak: I don’t buy none of that. It’s like, a f**k is a f**k.

Amy: Right, that’s what I’m saying. I think we’re more able to forgive just a [fling] than we would a guy saying, “I slept with this girl and I really like her, blah blah blah.”

Ak: Nah. You never forgive a f**k.

Amy: I’ve never been cheated on. I’ve only cheated.

Ak: I’ve been cheated on before. You never forgive a f**k.

Amy: Don’t you think the best sex is post-breakup, though? The best. When you shouldn’t be doing it, and it’s like a couple of months after you broke up. You’re hanging out… “Oh, you wanna come over?” “OK.” I think it is because you’re no longer lying to each other. Because the sex doesn’t mean anything other than just the sex.

Ak: It depends if you like the person. If it was your main person.

Amy: That’s what I’m talking about. Like a relationship where you break up and then a couple months later you sleep together again.

Ak: Let me tell you something. I’m going through that right now.

Amy: You are?

Ak: We’re trying to get back together and we’ve been with each other for like the past week, and it’s like we don’t even f**k each other or nothing like that. It feels funny because it’s like, she knows I was out there, I know she was out there. And it’s like the golden seal that you guys had when you were together, you know, it’s been broken. It’s a real growing-up feeling.

Amy: But I think the fact that you know the seal’s been broken makes the sex better. Because you’re f**king, you’re not making love. That’s what I mean

Careers and Relationships

Amy: Is it hard for you to have girlfriends because of your career?

Ak: You know what? It is. I meet a girl, but they never trust me. I mean, they really won’t.

Amy: Me too.

Ak: It’s like, the girls you’re really loyal to them, and they never trust you. And then you just get so pissed off, you be like, “You know what? F**k it!” And then it’s kind of hard for their friends to take them serious. They’re like, “You’re screwing with this freak, dude!” So now you attract the freaks, and then you kinda start to like the freaks. I don’t have no children or nothing like that and it’s really depressing.

Amy: Do you have safe sex always?

Ak: All the time. It’s like I’m condom dude.

Doing It in Weird Places

Ak: What’s the weirdest place you ever did it in?

Amy: You know, I’m such a prude when it comes to that. I think in the back of a car is so boring.

Ak: I mean, I’m not even into weird places.

Amy: I’ve never even done it in a bathroom…oh once I did in a park. But nobody was there, and it was really late at night, and unfortunately it had begun and ended within about 3 minutes.

Ak: You never enjoy it, because you’re just doing it for the actual sport of doing it in public. You’re not even trying to have an orgasm. You’re just like, “Wow, we’re f**king in a public place.”

Amy: See, the idea of doing it in public, as a woman, makes me so nervous. Public places don’t really turn me on. Am I just really boring? I’m a bed girl.

Ak: Right now I have this fantasy: get a limousine in the daytime, go through the diamond district one time, and have sex. Have one window cracked just a little so that if a messenger rode by, he could actually catch a glimpse. And just drive through and be naked in the backseat, and looking at everyone, like: “I wonder if he knows I’m getting head right now.”